May We Present This Helpful Brochure...



Thank you for calling Maximum Freakage, the Johnny Weir Fans' Crisis Hotline. Please listen closely as our menu options change frequently depending on his mood and the color of his bag.

Press 1 if you're freaked out about his hair. Your call will be automatically forwarded to Eric Alt, who will reassure you in his warmest and most soothing voice that only the finest products were used in
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